As a medical student, I wouldn’t even date myself. That’s not because I’m mean or unpleasant by any means, or at least I don’t think I am, but it’s simply that medical students are too busy. I definitely appreciate my partner for being understanding, but it’s also easier for my relationship to work because he is also a busy person. But here are a couple of important tips that I’ve learned during our relationship that worked out wonderfully for us.

1. Keep Yourself Busy

Too often of times will you find yourself alone because your partner would be staring at his computer studying for long periods of time? This is perfectly normal and they are not by any means ignoring you. They have a lot of pent-up stress and expectations of themselves in their studying and there’s no way around passing medical school without devoting hours on end every day to studying.

Instead of asking to have more time with you, you should find a hobby or something that interests you or do SOMETHING that you can keep yourself busy without distracting him from his studies. When they are done studying or need a break from it, they will automatically come back to you for happiness and comfort. You need to be understanding. Being in medical school requires many sacrifices on their part but the fact that they still want to be with you, means a lot.

2. Be Encouraging

Being in medical school is a lot of stress. And the worst thing you can do is give your partner even more stress by demanding attention or comfort. It’s going to be difficult for you to keep on a positive attitude to be encouraging for your partner, but it’s really what they need in times of immense stress and frustrations. This will be very difficult for you because even if you had a bad day at work or something, your beloved medical student may not have the time or energy to reciprocate the favor to you.

At the end of the day, it’s really up to you to decide how much you are willing to tolerate your partner and how much you love him/her in order to be understanding and encouraging of your partner. And I know it won’t be easy.

3. Cook for Them

I would definitely say that in medical school, the stomach is best the way to the heart. Medical students don’t have much to meal prep or even cook a simple meal. So many times, they often resort to take-out or fast food. What we love best is when our partner lovingly makes a warm, hearty meal full of love. Even something easy like pasta would be golden. Or make their favorite dish. This is often the best way to express how much you care and love them, as you save them a lot of time from cooking and give them some happiness through the stomach.

If my partner cooks more for me everyday, I’ll marry him next month.

3. Give Them Space

Most likely, your partner needs some alone time to concentrate on studying. They would one hundred percent appreciate it if you could allow them the time to fully concentrate. They are not ignoring or not willing to give you attention, they just need to survive medical school, okay? They will really appreciate you for being so understanding.

4. Be a Good Listener

Medical school comes with a lot of stress and drama. There are probably times where they feel the need to share their frustrations or excitement with you because you mean a lot to them. Let them finish their outbreak and calmly respond to their remarks naturally. If you have things to share with them as well, when they are done talking, you could tell them that you also have something to share. Now, if they don’t have your full attention or maybe they don’t even want to hear it right now, be understanding of their situation. They could be just stressed. As long as you are a good listener, they will always come back to you.

5. Workout With Them

Exercising and working out ultimately gets neglected with the intensity of medical school increases. If they ever bring up going out and exercising, go with them! This is another chance for you to spend some quality time together. This also benefits you, by the way. They will most likely be in a better mood after some endorphin-pumping in their system. Going with them also gives them the motivation to take care of themselves and feel better about themselves. Just go with them.

6. Get Them Some Coffee

I hardly know of any medical student that doesn’t drink coffee during medical school. If there’s someone that doesn’t, that’s a huge achievement. But assuming your partner is a normal, caffeine-addicted medical student, brew them a nice cup of joe every morning. Or every time you see them, ask if you could get them some coffee or Starbucks. Gift them a nice box of coffee beans when you see them. Or even a pack of energy drinks – whichever your person prefers. Most of the time, they won’t deny, unless its too late in the day or it’s their day off. This is the secret weapon.

7. Praise Them Often

Medical students are often down in the dumps. Suicide rates are one of the highest amongst professional students. Every day drags on to be studying 24/7. They lack fun and joy. Frustrations are often in there, too. This is your time to shine and give them bright encouragement. Tell them how much you admire and respect what he’s doing. Tell them they are going to be a doctor, making money and helping people all their lives. What they’re doing will be worth it in the end, you just have got to hang in there. It’s a big accomplishment and you have got to remind them of that. They will love you for being so understanding and supportive.

8. Do Something They Like

Video games. YouTube. Hanging out. Board games. Tennis. Whatever it is, play with them. If they have time to be happy and enjoy themselves, make sure to be there with them. They will associate the sparse amount of happiness in their current life with you! This is the moment you always want to be there for them. It’ll be fun for you, too.

9. Help Tidy Up

Cleaning up the place is the thing most people want to do least, especially when they are stressed. They would think you are an angel if you just tidy up the place a bit – just to make it more stress-relieving. Who doesn’t like their place to be tidy and clean? This might be asking a lot from you but if you really love your partner and want to relieve some stress from them, you could consider doing this for them as a lovely surprise.

10. Express Your Love Subtly

Saying that you love someone isn’t exactly the most effective way to express your affection. Doing all of the things in the list above is one way and just letting them know that you’ll be there for them in the end. Medicine is a hard and unrelenting career and it’s comforting to them to know that they have someone that loves them at the end of the day to come home to.

These are just some tips from someone who is dating a medical student. This type of relationship might not be too common but if your partner is a professional student or has a high-stress job, you could relate to these tips as well.